Dear Moro Islamic Liberation Front,
I happened upon your recent act of terrorism in the news this morning and wanted to let you know it did not work. I was neither scared nor impressed by your ruthless aggression toward's the kidnapped irish priest, more so, after reading about your organization, I was almost bemused. I feel the reason I had this sort of reaction was because of the title you've chosen for your terrorist organization.
Please, before your terrorize again, change your name. I ask this because as a terrorist organization you need to strike fear into the hearts and minds of all those who do not see the world as you do. Your organization, Moro Islamic Liberation Front, or MILF, doesn't make anyone in the west think terror. True, there may be some parent out there who don't want their 14 son kidnaped by MILF's, despite their son's excitement at the prospect of this happening. When most westerners think of MILF they think of sad, lonely mothers who want to nothing more than some sexual attention from a handsome nineteen year old pool boy, and not terrorist.
After reading about your organizations attempts to establish an islamic state on the island of Mindanoa, you may be surprised that tourism from westerners increases in the area as news here in America will claim that MILF's have taken control of a tropical island in the Philippines. You might want to put some guards at the air ports because there will be a massive escalation of college men in your country if you are to succeed. I also wanted to warn you that there are not people in the west who are out to attack your organization. Despite their title, MILF Hunter's, these groups of men are after something very different.